There’s something about January and February that seeps into our souls. Maybe it’s the bleak midwinter landscape reflecting our internal state, or maybe it’s the relentless pressure of new year’s resolutions. Whatever it is, here we are again with the new planner, the new fitness program, and the holy grail – that perfect routine that will magically make everything effortless!
You’ve heard it before: “Just commit to doing something for 21 days and it becomes a habit!”
Bullshit.
For some magical unicorns out there, maybe 21 days is all it takes to transform their lives. But for many of us? Those 21 days are just the introduction to a very boring book that our brains refuse to read. We can white-knuckle our way through three weeks of a new habit, feel victorious, then blink and watch it vanish like morning mist. So we double down – “Three MONTHS this time!” – only to completely forget about it two days later.
For years, I believed my mother’s voice in my head: I was just lazy. Then my kids were diagnosed as neurodivergent, and suddenly the puzzle pieces of my own struggles clicked into place. Those “simple” routines that others seemed to perform on autopilot? They required an exhausting combination of planning, lists, promises, and threats. Sure, occasionally the planets would align for one glorious, productive week. But then came the expectation to repeat those same boring tasks every week… forever? Bite me!
My brain’s resistance to routines feels like a stubborn toddler throwing a tantrum. I KNOW that spending fifteen minutes with my vision board and meditation practice transforms my entire day. But my brain says, “Nah, let’s check Facebook and play Phase 10 instead! We’ll do the routine tomorrow. This is our day off!”
Here’s the trap: for the neurodivergent mind, “just one day off” is the poison apple. Skip a day, skip a weekend, and suddenly a month has vanished. You’re back in old patterns that feel so comfortable, so safe… and so joy-less. Sure, finishing that Sudoku gives you a hit of dopamine, but it only leads to another puzzle, and another, in an endless loop of comfortable mediocrity.
It’s all about emotion. That quick pleasure hit makes us want more. Meanwhile, the thought of exercise means abandoning your cozy bed and hot coffee, gathering supplies, fending off pets, all to do something uncomfortable that promises future muscle pain. Which would you choose? DUH!
So how do we fight our stubborn, resistant brains?
We don’t.
Instead, we collaborate with our creative, independent selves. We discover tools, products, and practices that don’t just bring joy – they showcase our unique talents until we eagerly return to them daily, chasing those positive, uplifting emotions.
That’s the real starting point. Once you learn to work with your unique brain instead of against it, everything shifts. No single combination of tools and methods works for everyone (how boring would that be?). But by exploring the spiritual and physical practices I share here, you can build a toolkit that resonates with your magical, one-of-a-kind self.
The world needs your specific gifts and talents. You’re not here to play small or force yourself into a neurotypical box. You’re here to shine – with love, joy, creativity, and purpose!
Ready? Let’s DO this!